I guess it's ok to have open season on Christianity.

I Hope Jesus Thinks Larry David is Funny
Doug Giles
Saturday, October 31, 2009

Larry David joined the ranks of the rank this week when he whizzed on an
image of Jesus Christ on his unfunny HBO show. I think this one will
come back to bite you, LD.

Yep, Larry, you should have indeed curbed your enthusiasm when you were
contemplating POing Protestants and Catholics who watch HBO and buy your
Seinfeld DVDs.

FYI to ludicrous Larry: We "goofy" religious folks who number in the
millions in the flyovers take our God seriously and don't take a shinin'
to tools like you urinating on that which reps our Savior. Heck, we
don't even take kindly to people like Ozzy Osbourne peeing on the Alamo.


I would venture to guess that just as San Antonio banned Ozzy from
entering their city until he repented nine years after the fact, you
might find Christians in America shunning you and your Seinfeld products
like they would a ski parka during a sweaty south Florida summer.

At least Ozzy had some semblance of an excuse in that he was a
blithering, tormented, drunk, drug-infested idiot at the time. What's
your defense?

What David did this week is up there with what "Kramer" did at that L.A.
comedy club when he went loopy with his racist rant. I wonder if the
Rev. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are going to get as indignant with
David as they did with Richards, seeing that Larry whizzed on the God
they worship. Hmmm. We shall see.

Hey, church, how do you feel about David deriding an image of Christ in
the most despicable manner? I have many Jewish friends here in Miami and
across the nation who now think of David as a weapons grade dipstick for
doing this.

Wassup, Larry? We don't see you doing such things to a picture of Moses,
or the 10 Commandments, or a Star of David, or ... or ... Islam. I
wonder why, Mr. Unfunny Man. I'll tell you why you don't turn your
urethra on them: It's because you'd have hell to pay. So, instead you
turn to Hollywood's whippin' post, i.e. Christ and Christians.

So why did Larry go out of his way with malice of forethought to tick
off millions of Christians? Who knows? Maybe he's an unimaginative
copycat fan of Andres Serrano. That's a real possibility. Hey, I have an
idea for the next Curb episode: Howzabout for your subsequent stunt, Mr.
David, you imitate Robert Mapplethorpe's artwork and jam a bullwhip up
your tailpipe, huh?

If turnabout is fair play, I say we start making Larry David jokes such
as: "How does Larry David run his fingers through his hair? He cuts the
front pockets out of his jeans."

I don't know about you, church, but I'm getting really tired of these
la-di-da Hollywood wonks waling on what we believe. Like really, really
tired. And I advise that we hit them where it hurts ... in their
pocketbooks-effective immediately.

Finally, Larry, I hope you enjoyed the limelight and saved your money.
And I sure hope that Jesus thinks you're hilarious because if He
doesn't, it might get weird for you.

If Larry really has any balls he should take his putrid show on the road to Israel and to Tehran proving that he is an 'equal opportunity offender' by defaming their religious deities. Perhaps they would give him the justice he has earned and richly deserves.

These Hollywood types are getting really belligerent. We just had that actress who got up on stage and was saying "F*** them!"(talking about Christians) because of her being teased by her schoolmates during her attendance at a religious school. Before that,Kathy Griffin held up her award at an awards show and told Jesus to "suck on this". Now we have David pissing on a statue of Jesus.

People should consider this trend,and all the other trends that are occurring at the same time. The growing distrust of government,rampant corruption of politicians,economy in the tank,increasing tension and volatility between nuclear nations (and everywhere else),and growing hatred toward Israel. We're on a timetable here. I think we all need to really think about God,and our relationship with Him. That trumps even what happens with our country,even though we need to be ready to defend it and the Constitution till our last breath as well.

Maybe the "Rapture" will save some of us the trouble.
I would sure hate to be in his shoes come judgement day.

Yep, he could go piss on something Muhammed related and see how funny they think it is.

Hollywood and their ilk make me want to vomit. I can't remember the last movie I went to see and most of the movies that I rent are older movies. Hollywood just don't have great Americans like they used to, where have all the Jimmy Stewart's, John Wayne's, Lee Marvin's gone - Oh yeah, they've gone to Heaven because they loved and respected God and country and in that order! Screw these new hollywood types, they are godless morons....

4 And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.

5 For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.

6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not
troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

7 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.

8 All these are the beginning of sorrows.

9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you:
and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.

10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.

11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

14 And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.

15 When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him
understand)

16 Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:

17 Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:

18 Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.

19 And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!

20 But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day:

21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.

22
And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be
saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened.

23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.

24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

25 Behold, I have told you before.

26 Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.

27 For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

28 For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together.

29 Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken:

30 And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.

31 And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.

32 Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh:

33 So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors.

34
Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.

36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

37 But as the days of Noe were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

38 For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,

39 And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

40
Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

41 Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

42 Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.

43 But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.

44 Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.

45 Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his lord hath made ruler over his household, to give them meat in due season?

46 Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.

47
Verily I say unto you, That he shall make him ruler over all his goods.

48 But and if that evil servant shall say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming;

49 And shall begin to smite his fellowservants, and to eat and drink with the drunken;

50 The lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour that he is not aware of,

51 And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the
hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Amen!

quote:

Originally posted by Hemi Ogre:
Yep, he could go piss on something Muhammed related and see how funny they think it is.

If he did that, the asshole would be beheaded!

Maybe we need to do a little "cleansing" too.

What is it with everyone and the use of shock to get ratings. Assholes.

They should do an episode where he accidently knocks a koran into the toilet. Or maybe one where he accidentally spills some bacon on a prayer rug. Think that would be funny?

quote:

Originally posted by RubberFrog:
They should do an episode where he accidently knocks a koran into the toilet. Or maybe one where he accidentally spills some bacon on a prayer rug. Think that would be funny?

Did you hear that the Swine Flu vaccine is made from pig blood?